I start...

I had a serious meltdown at The Cheesecake Factory, (btw, I apologize who our wonderful waiter who totally ignored the fact I was bawling). I said I hated my life, wanted to run away, wasnt cutout to be a mother, thought London (my gorgeous, incredibly awesome child) was better off with someone else. I suck seriously. I miss my old life, miss being able to go wherever I want, when I want. I miss being with my husband. I miss my life being my own. I think I had her too late in life, I was 36, I was used to everything, my life, my schedule, everything. I think honestly I did it like I do everything else, to please everyone else. My parents wanted grandchildren, they deserve what they want, they have been incredibly awesome with me. I couldnt have asked for better parents. I love the thought of children, but I am good with teenagers or with adults. I love the thought of adult children, but kids? I have never been good with kids. Ever. I think my whole family was shocked when we had a kid. Criminy, poor kid, at least she has my parents, and his parents. Cause I suck.

I am so psyched though, we are going to visit my relatives for my incredibly awesome cousin Jeff's wedding to the also incredibly awesome Darcie Knack. Best of all, I get to see my daughter's Godmother Cara who rocks the Casbah. Anyway, I love the fact I can just bitch on here. And unfortunately , I have no censoring button internally, I spew how I feel all the time. So I might be offensive sometimes, I apologize.

I will say this, I love my dogs, I swear, I wish I had a whippet farm...thats what I want in life. whippets, a lot of them!!!